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[liveslaughsloves]

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Re: day 220

[liveslaughsloves]

Most people who talk to you don’t have to do anything. Not even the ones you live with, funny enough.

Re: day 220

[bittytorrent]

Hmph. Life sure is a comedy sometimes.

Re: day 220

[liveslaughsloves]

Pipsqueak jokes aside, you’re way too young to be worrying about things always being like this for you. I know that’s like, hard to hear, though.

Re: day 220

[bittytorrent]

...do you think I'm weird?

Re: day 220

[liveslaughsloves]

[a thoughtful noise. then, blunt but kind:]

I don’t know you that well. Acidia could probably answer better, or maybe Brocade. But I think you might think somewhere outside what people might consider the norm, yeah. If it’s noticeable enough to keep coming up as a point of comparison.

Re: day 220

[bittytorrent]

[ looks away ]

Brocade's the only one that doesn't make me feel like there's something wrong with me. Maybe Nettle. Maybe Aster.

I thought I was just a regular introvert. Or a regular loser. Nothing that crazy.

Re: day 220

[liveslaughsloves]

If it helps, most people are…complicated.

[he’s thinking about his brother. sometimes the nicest man he’s ever met. sometimes the meanest. sometimes the most competent, the most disastrous, the most worrying. he wonders what the hidden strata under their four-month-three-week relationship is like, much as he does at some point in every single day of his life]

It’s not like the way Aster thinks belongs in one single box, or that he might not be having some of the same thoughts as you sometimes, maybe just deeper down, maybe in places he doesn’t wanna talk about. Maybe the inverse is true for you. Same for Nettle. Same for Snow. Same for whoever. Even if they one hundred percent don’t act the same way you might up top, or logic it the same way out loud, darker thoughts and intrusive thoughts are a thing.

Everyone’s just…doing their best, you know?

Re: day 220

[bittytorrent]

I know.

I guess what I'm trying to say is... it's not that hard for me to hear that I'm too young for this or that. You're not the first. You won't be the last.

It's just—novel. Adults on this boat are about 500000% more protective over kids than I'm used to.

Re: day 220

[liveslaughsloves]

I ain't trying to protect you. I can't protect you from the inside of your own head, my guy.

I'm just saying you have time.

Re: day 220

[bittytorrent]

I didn't—

[ shakes his head ]

I get it. Thanks.

[ genuine, without bitterness or heat ]

Re: day 220

[liveslaughsloves]

[smiles at him]

Feel any better, or still about the same?

Re: day 220

[bittytorrent]

[ pauses to think ]

I'm not sure. Talking didn't make things worse. And hanging out's pretty... nice?

Re: day 220

[liveslaughsloves]

Well, hang out as long as you want. We're not, like, a super exciting household in here, but we're good for chilling.