liveslaughsloves | [limelight

It happened with the third one, yes.

... Reviewing the second also... was a little different after the fact.

Different how? I didn’t look back at mine.

It feels closer now.

Like the third one.

…haha…I’m definitely not giving mine a second try, then…

[just nods]

Have yours been... unpleasant, then?

Two of them have been pretty okay, as far as these things go. Not normal, but not…upsetting, I guess.

The other two are…they were pretty bad.

...

Was it something happening to, ah, the person supposed to be you?

…one was him as a kid. There was…some kind of accident? Everyone around him was dead, and he was running scared.

[folds his gloved hands around his own teacup, for the warmth]

The other one, he wasn’t a kid anymore, but he was getting…well, experimented on, I guess.

... Ah.

That does sound bad.

Yeah. I might take a little break on more for a while. The second one was…I took it last, so it hit the hardest.

For what it's worth, I think several people are considering those.

Breaks, that is.

Are you? What are yours about…?

[he’s gentle about the asking]

[damn, check out all these eggshells on the floor]

A young man who seems to have a job somewhat similar to mine. His duty is to protect "the weak", but he finds himself wavering and resenting said weak people for the damage they cause to him and others tasked with their protection.

... This is kind of anti-climactic, but due to someone else's vision, I know he ends up choosing to murder those he resents, and ends up executed because of it.

[pauses there, just to see Eriks' reaction]

[he just looks sad, honestly. not like, blubbering sad, but a version of it that's oddly warm and gentle. maybe less surprised by the concept than he should be]

...does it feel like the young man is you? Or does it feel like he could never be you?

The latter, I think. I cannot see myself as someone who would be satisfied choosing that sort of path.

[sighs]

... But he also had things I'm envious of.

[serious; gentle]

Do you want to tell me about them?

[an awkward chuckle]

I'm not sure how to address it in a way that doesn't come off... poorly. Maybe just keeping it simple is best?

Deep and strong friendship.

That ain't that poorly-sounding to me.

[considers, then:]

Miss Uriel mentioned you were maybe having problems socializing real close with others?

I...

[you can almost hear the record scratch]

—she said what.

It wasn't a bad thing. I just asked how Holy Order was doing, and it came up. Seems like you guys mostly like to keep your stuff private?

... Yes, but I think that's just how most of us are?

Yeah, but...I dunno. It does seem a little lonely?

It's nothing new for me, at the very least.

But it would have been nice to have that kind of friendship as a teen. That's all there is to it.

Ain't too late to start, even if you can't rewind time.

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